It was later that day, after the battle with the thing that Danzerhi had recognized and the various conversations that followed, Kethryn anxiously waited for the sun to go down. She felt the tearing in her soul, the divisions in her mind that needed to be resolved for sanity's sake, and was preparing herself to speak with her Goddess. Hopefully, her Goddess would consent to answer her by sending one of Her lesser forms, one of Her many servants so Keth could have a conversation with Her instead of asking questions into the Void and waiting for the answer.

Finally, as the sun was setting, Keth climbed to the top of the tower, settling herself on the flagstones. Crossing her legs indian style, she cleared her mind of all thoughts and allowed herself to go into the trance...Once she was fully in trance, she mentally breathed a name into the Void...

Naevia D'Aquilla...

Waiting for the lesser servant to show up, she was patient as she could never be in real life.

As Kethryn waited, the cold seemed to grow more intense, the wind blew harder and harder, picking up speed, howling shrilly in her ears, driving ice into her skin. Just as she thought that the wind would drive her insane and the ice would surely draw blood, it was cut off. A stillness crossed over her, warmth filled her, and a path of moonlight opened up for her spirit to follow. Willingly, she sent her spirit on the paths laid out for her, her answer was forthcoming...

As she set "foot" on the paths, her spirit form changed to take her other form, a silver wolf. Loping down the path, she approached the misty light where she was to wait. Laying down, she set her head on her paws and cast her eyes down respectfully.

*Cubling, I see that thee has returned to us.*

Lifting her eyes, Kethryn looked to see Naevia D'Aquilla in all Her glory. Her spirit form, granted by Goddess Aquilla Herself, was that of a spotted eagle, larger than life, glowing in the silver moonlight. Keth caught her breath, well aware of the honor that Aquilla was bestowing on her with this visitation and bowed deeply in her wolf form. *Naevia, thee and She both do thy humble servant great honor.*

The mental tones filled her head, tinkling laughter sounding like a brook, the gentle voice filled her head once again. *Hogwash. Thee knows that She does not want for thee to bow and scrape for She is not like the fiercer Gods, making their subjects bow and scrape before them. Thee knows that She prefers Her people on their own two feet. Enough of that, I know that thee has a great many questions to ask of Her and I have been given leave to answer them for thee. I also know that thy spirit hath been much tested over the past year and I know that you are much angered by this. Please feel free to express thyself as thy wilt and fear no reprimand by either She or me.*

Kethryn looked at the eagle before her, wondering if what she spoke was true. But it must be, for Naevia was incapable of falsehoods. *Thee may yet regret the offer, Naevia. As thee said, I do have many questions for thee and, as they are of a nasty nature, please let me apologize from the beginning for I do not wish to offend either She or thee.*

Gently, the eagle settled on the path next to Keth. Tucking her wings into her sides, she preened for a moment before being completely settling herself on two feet. Gazing at Keth with raptorial eyes, she sent *Is that what I did not just tell thee, cubling? Speak freely and with all the passion I sense welling inside thee for, if thee doth not speak of it, it will fester inside thee. Thee needeth to express thyself fully and to the ones who will understand thee best.

Taking a deep breath, Keth started in...

As Keth thought about the question that she wanted to ask, she unconsciously rose to her feet, the better to pace, and shifted spirit forms back to her human self. Organizing them into a semblance of order, she clasped her hands together and began. *So why...* She faltered and tried again, *So why did She...* Twisting her hands, she turned away, unable to complete the questions.

Naevia actually sighed, an odd sight for an eagle. Exerting her powers a trifle, she pushed at Keth's emotions, driving her into a temper that would push Keth to the point where she would say exactly what was on her mind, where she would vent her emotions and thoughts freely. **Say what is on thy mind, cubling* she ordered.

Kethryn felt herself in a killing rage, though she knew not why. Because of Naevia's influence on her emotions, she was now furious enough to ask the questions that she could not ask normally. Her hands clenched in fists of rage and the betrayal that Keth felt shown nakedly in her eyes. Whirling around, she started to speak tersely and bitterly.

*I know that we are supposed to have free will, I accept that as true. But why did She allow those things to happen to me? Why did She take my lifebond, my heart, and rip it from me? I will NEVER be whole again because SilverFalcon died, NEVER.*

As Keth spoke more and more, she grew more angry, her volume increased, tears started to trickle unheeded down her cheeks, and she spoke faster and faster.

*She did NOTHING when Donan was doing those things to me, when he RAPED my mind and my body. Have I not been a faithful servant to Her? So WHY did She allow the Order to get a hold of me? I find that everything that I thought was TRUE and JUST is now just a falsehood, a lie, a convinent excuse for someone ESLE to MUCK around in MY head, like I didn't get enough of that with Donan.

All of the resentment that had been festering inside her was rushing to the suface, overwhelming her fear of offending her Goddess. By this point, she was screaming the questions, tears literally flowing down her cheeks.

*Have I NOT done EVERY SINGLE THING She ever ASKED or TOLD me to do, without EVER questioning HER wisdom? I realize that I AGREED to the Order and I AGREED with them blocking the memories BUT could SHE have not WARNED me that this would happen AFTER the memories were BLOCKED? I feel completly BETRAYED and totally DEVASTATED and, not only do I have to deal with a SHATTERED HEART, but I have to deal with an ORDER THAT I MUST OBEY AND TRUST, when I FEEL that the ORDER betrayed the trust by placing those MENTAL BLOCKS? When they HID from ME WHAT I AM?

Keth was sobbing now, trying to force the words around the lump in her throat. As she spoke, she was crying so hard, she burst a blood vessel in her eye, filling her vision with blood. Wiping her hand to clear away her vision, a dim part of her was shocked to see the blood on her hands.

*SHE allowed Donan to take MY innocence and MY lifebond. SHE allowed the Order to steal MY life and then to turn it completely upside down, making the life I knew before a total LIE. HOW MANY MORE TIMES WILL I LOOSE ALL THAT I HAVE BEFORE SHE IS SATISFIED?

The last sentance seemed to take all of the energy out of Keth and she collapsed in a heap on the "floor," unable to even cry anymore.

Naevia looked at Kethryn lying on the paths for a long moment, long enough for Keth to begin to wonder if she had dared too much. As she stared at Keth, she grew in size and the light emanating from her became bright enough to blind Keth, torturing her with no place to hide. Just before she was about to stammer an apology before being burned to a crisp by her Goddess, Naevia spoke *Doth thee truly think that She hath allowed all of this to merely cause thee pain?*

Keth considered this for a long moment before finding the answer that she knew deep down in the depths of her soul, *No. I know that She would spare me the pain of this all if She could.*

Again Naevia stared at Keth as if she was being weighed to be found worthy once again. Another long moment passed and Naevia launched herself into flight from the paths. Keth was left alone, lying on the paths, alone in her misery and contriteness. Softly she whispered, *I am sorry.*

Lying on the paths, Keth was so wrapped up in her misery that she failed to hear the stirring of the wind or notice the figure approaching through the air. If she had been paying attention, Kethryn would have seen a great golden eagle, the size of it would have put even Naevia to shame, land on the path next to her and transform into a beautiful young woman. She was dressed as a warrior, in shades of greens and browns, with twin swords strapped to Her back. Her long golden hair was in a braid coiled around Her head, looking for all the world like a crown of shimmering gold. The Goddess stood there for a second, Her blue eyes with no pupil brimming with compassion, before kneeling next to a comatose Keth. *My warrior, doth thee hate me so much that thee will not face me?*

Kethryn started hard at the Voice, having never expected to hear Her Voice again. She snapped her head around to look at Aquilla, the Goddess of Moonlight, and stammered *I could never hate Thee, Goddess.*

Brooking no argument, Aquilla pulled Kethryn into a hug...the kind of hug that a mother would grant a grieving child. *I am so sorry that I had to do this to thee, my warrior. As thee knows, I too, am constrained by many things...not the least of which is thy own free will. Would thee like for me to take that away from thee?*

*NO!* Kethryn stated fiercly, her resolve and her inner peace slowly being restored to her. *I would not accept the loss of choice for anything else that Thee would offer me. I would rather be able to choose my destiny than one that someone else choose for me.*

A pleased smile crossed Aquilla's face and She said *That is what I hoped that thee would say, warrior.* She paused for a moment, then looked at Keth again, all levity banned from Her face as She showed Her true sorrow. For what thee hath faced, I am truly sorry. Some of those things were well beyond even my control and there will be a reckoning later. For what thee wilt face next, I believe in thee, warrior, and know that thee will do what is right. But know this, I would not have allowed the Order to take thee into their midst like they did if they had been of evil intent. They are rightous, even in their arrogance, and they may have a greater impact that even I can see.*

*Then I am forgiven for my harsh words?.* Keth's face took on a hopeful light.

Aguilla smiled, a smile so beautiful that it would break hearts. *I do not punish my people for speaking what they see as the truth, warrior. Thee is no exception to this decree. In truth, Naevia pushed thee according to my directions for I know that thee hath had a very difficult time of it. Thee needed someone to express those feelings to and I know that thee hath not found that someone in your world. I promise thee, warrior to warrior, that all will pass and thee will have thy proper place and certain...things...will be restored to thee. But, this too, comes with a price. Thee will have to be ever vigilent in thy duty to thy Order and to thy oaths; to me and to others.*

Pulling away from Aquilla, Kethryn knelt in front of her Goddess, head bowed. *I do swear on my immortal soul to do my sacred duty to Thee and to the Order.*

Motioning for Kethryn to rise, Aquilla, too, rose to Her feet. Wordlessly, She pulled Keth into another hug, healing the wounds to Keth's body. *Truth, I did not expect anything else from thee. I cannot predict the outcome of this, warrior, the future is too shaded for even one such as I to know. However, I have faith in thee, Kethryverris, and believe that thee will overcome all in thy time on earth.*

With that last comment, Keth found herself starting out of her trance. A cynical part of her wondered if that was really real or if she had imagined the whole thing. Slowly she stood, bones and joints stiff from sitting in the cold for so long but wondering that the wound in her thigh was healed...completely. As she turned to walk away, a glint of copper caught her eye. Looking down, she wondered at the transformation for emblazed, on her chest, was the Order of the Shattered Sun...and, on her hands, there was blood.

Keth woke with a start, wondering what on earth that was all about. Pushing the foggy memories aside, she again drifted off to sleep, promising herself that she would seek her Goddess out soon to get some answers...